you know the feeling of not wanting something but actually really wanting something.

 

you want to be left alone but don't want to be left alone !?

 

i want a break but i don't want a break. all for different reasons !

 

and

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These were my interview questions and how i answered them hahaaha some were really really bad though.

Thought it would be useful for people who would be applying next year ! or in the future. i benefited from one such blog ! hahaah enjoy! i made some sarcastic remarks i was a little angry after the second interview because i felt so misunderstoodand i did not really clear the air that well.

JUST REMEMBER REMAIN CALM AND SMILE. THAT GOT ME my spot (=

 

1^st Round [3 interviewers]

                               

You come from a very close knit family. Do you find yourself very sheltered from the harsh realities of life?

 

 

Samuel. Do you really want to study medicine? And become a doctor?

 

 

What do you think are the concerns of Singaporeans now?

 

You mentioned right – sitting. Why do you think right sitting is not taking place?

 

You mentioned AMD. So what’s the difference between AMD and euthanasia?

 

What are your views on euthanasia?

 

What do you want to specialize in? Why?

 

Do you really want to study medicine and become a doctor? [question asked again]

 

 

I forgot what they asked me but I ended up talking about a doctor called dr alex chao who passed away during the sars period. I said how he sang to his patients in icu, [what I want to do!] and how he was still so family oriented even when he was going to die [he drove pass his house to wave to his daughters for the very last time before he went to the hospital and was warded in the sars ward]

 

Tell us what your second choice is. Why bioengineering?

 

   

Do you think that with the declining birth rates in Singapore … obstetricians … necessary …?

 

 

As we can see, you have many experiences as a … SCOUT … [ I thought they would ask about council ..]. so tell us when leading during scouts, what were certain qualities you needed to have and how you developed and changed ?

 

 

Do you think that as a doctor, you are more of a follower or a leader ?

 

What do you know of hand foot and mouth disease. Tell us more. How is the government attempting to control it ?

 

 

That would be all.

Thank you.

soliloquized

 

[the guy who interviewed me who helped opened and close the door then whispered to me “good good” just before I left] that made my day. I needed it especially after the 2^nd interview I was going to be put through.

 

2^nd Round [the horror for me]

 

 

You have been said to be sheltered from the harsh realities of life. And not be worldly wise and street smart. Do you agree?

I answered really badly. Cos I was a little bit intimidated and appalled they are focusing on such a thing argh. Talked about how I don’t get everything in life. They cut me and asked ..

 

Define Street smart.

[I tot I was applying for med, not English course in FASS]

Er … means you don’t get used by people.

 

So do you get used ?

I tend to try to help people and I smile all the time so perhaps I am approachable enough to be used. But I learn to draw my limits and I know when I am being used.

 

You gotta speak up, I am partially deaf?

[your partially bald too, oh but I am sure you know that ostensibly]

Sorry to hear.

 

How do you handle stress?

Well I bring my friend to a secluded corner of the school and we talk about what depresses or stresses us?

 

Hmm this friend you’re referring to is he a he or she a she cause you mentioned secluded corner. …. Sounds quite like a … rendezvous!

Hahahah no my friends are guys but we do like privacy doing decent stuff like talking.

Also I dance it off, I love to sing.

I play vball with my friends

 

Give us specific examples.

 

We are not convinced. That you will be able to handle the failures as a doctor.

[are you ever convinced ? I learnt that they are not]

 

Tell me two events within the past 5 years that have been the most fulfilling?

 

On a scaled of 0 to 10. 0 being extrovert and 10 being introvert. Tell me where you lie.

I said 7 on extrovert. But I like to think through my actions first. So I spend time day dreaming etc.

 

 Wait I am confused. You like to think over things yet you say you are extroverted and like to get things done ?!

[you of all people should know that life has no black or white but rather shades of grey …]

 

You must understand that we are not concerned about your ability to handle academic vigour. But rather many houseman quit within 1 year or MOs leave and we need to have that assurance from you that you are prepared for the job ! tell us how ?

[I will not leave ? I will sleep in the lt from now on or hospital thereafter]

I only can say that I have gone for hospital attachments. I know the life of doctors. I know of some of the sacrifices I would have to make, but I too know that I can see my self enjoying this career in the future. I will find fun in monotony and that is why I will not quit in the face of adversity. I believe that as a doctor I have a responsibility and I will not shirk my respon. [poor answer but I really ran of of ways to subst.]

 

Tell us what is your second choice. Why bioengineering ?

[same reason as first interview]

 

What is your third choice. Which faculty is that … [they gave a rather revolted constipated condescending look on their faces, I chose projects and facilities management]

[I thought you were suppose to be more caring and sentient and less sarcastic when you’re a doctor] and not so snoobish and proud.

 

Do you think you are credited for this slot in this university ?

[oh you ..$^@#.., well if I wasn’t you wouldn’t have invited me here today now would you. And honestly does it really matter what I think ? it is you guys that are putting me through or not]

Yes I do. [that is all I said I was a little stunned]

 

What do you know about the NUS programme ?

Yes I know in the first year they study anatomy, histology, bioc. … [I was cut short]

 

Yes I know what we study. Thank you. You do not need to tell me. [and you just had to ask]

 

 Yes you mention about problem based learning. What do you think of it ?

You need to dedicate a lot of time to truly benefit from the prog esp because I read somewhere that is usually given near the examination period.

 

What do you want to specialize in?

Obs-gyn

 

HA! What?! Nothing here even indicates that you are remotely interested in become a gynae? Please tells us why ?

Said the same reason as the first interview [now throughout my expl. They kept giving the cynical chuckle and the shaking of head in severe disapproval]

 

So I am right to say you want to be a gynae because it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling or being able to help people, as opposed to lets say cancer and death ?

[oh nono I want to be a doctor because it is the closest thing to seeing people die EVERYDAY of my career! And I want that horrible sad depressing side of life, living so helpless knowing that I can’t save all my patients. Wow that is definitely GOT to be the REASON !]

No! but it is a perk of the job. I like the long term relationship with my patients. And there is nothing wrong with having that cheery feeling.

 

So if I gave you the choice you would rather do gynae to lets say oncology and cancer ?

[your giving me a choice right …. Duh]

I would choice to do something that I enjoy and like and at the moment for now it is obs-gyn. There is nothing wrong, I feel, in being able to do what I want and like.

 

Yes there is nothing wrong with that. Why don’t you do something that saves more lives like chronic diseases ?

[so a doctor’s credentials are based on the number of lifes he saves. How about those who care for the terminally ill ? How about helping to bring new lifes into this world?]

 

Would you mind being posted to oncology department ?

[everybody would initially]

I actually do find it quite close to my heart, taking into consideration that everyone that I know that is above 70 in my family is currently afflicted with it ! haha .. so yes I know what it is like to work in such conditions and I know of a doctor in a cancer centre that still took time off just 1 or 2 minutes to hold the hands of my grandma to reassure her that he will try ALL in his capacity that she recovers. It was inspiring.

 

How can you help your grandmother that is stricken with cancer?

[er I can be a loving and caring grandson] that I was my answer

 

 Define loving and caring ?

[again I am at the medicine interview not a FASS English course interview]

At the moment, er… [cos I thought it was a weird weird weird question] .. I try to be understand cos I sometimes get easily irritated by the good wills of my grandmother. So I try to understand that she means me well. She often gets very excited about me coming for this interview, but I learn to understand that the things she does, like cook fattening meals, ensure I look immaculate, got the right tie etc, is all for my good and I learn to appreciate that and tolerate what I normally find irritating. It is all about communication and love. [and they actually laughed and smiled genuinely here!]

 

Will you do abortion ? why ?

 

So if An 18 year old teenage girl comes to see you, will you perform abortion on her. The fact she had unprotected sex shows that she is immature in her decisions. Will you still go ahead with the surgery ?

 

A 42 year old man that suffers from ED comes to you and asks for Viagra. So that he can have sex with his girlfriend and have a child but remain single and not intend to marry his girlfriend. Will you prescribe the drug to him ?

[hey you want to meddle with people’s sex lifes too !]

 

Tell us within 30 secs. Why you are different. What sets you apart. You are not allowed to use the following words in your statement: passion, integrity, dedicated, compassionate, hardworking, intelligent, and interested.

[I think I rushed through forgetting to breathe. Cos at the end of it, I was breathless.] but i think they could sense my passion and genuinity ! (=

 

 

Post interview passing questions [when I was standing up ready to leave]

 

You were from hwa chong for 6 years. How is IP like?

I think it was a good system. I got to do whatever I liked when I wanted to. Most of the time. And it allowed me time to do council activities!

How did you find being an Indian in a Chinese community?

I think actually it is really normal although sometimes you do get privileges. Unfair [in a good way] treatment. yup

 

 

What is you ideal wife. What course would she have studied?

I don’t think degree wise it is really important to me. But if I had to choose… er … I would have to say business.

Why? So that she can help you earn money?

Erm no I think she would be interesting and different. Vibrant and dynamic yet caring.

 

 

What is your ideal car?

Toyota because it has sentimental value. It was the first care my father bought.

Can you tell us specifically which model?

Haha I know nothing about cars sorry!

[they gave me the “I knew it” look]

Sigh.

 

I felt like I was like harassed and flamed and set on fire. During this interview. But through it all I did one thing, I smiled like siao, very naturally not fakely and I think that is what ultimately saved me. I was at the end of the day, able to handle the pressure and stress of very unreasonable people. And I think that was the objective of the 2^nd interview. At least for me it was.

 

Thank you.

 

Yup remember to read up alot and have your opinions. They can tell if you truly have the passion or not ! hahaha

 

-The End-

status:success (=

praise be to god.

and happy birthday sis !

brown cloth shoes.

were they always brown.

weren't they once white

aren't they still white

beneath it all ?

 

i was reflective. in state.

it will all get better in time.

i hate this. i was happy. i tot it was over.

doesn't anything show? (=

 

when all the clouds darken up the skyway

i wish they was a rainbow highway to be found

leading from my window pane.

to a place behind the sun

to a place beyond the rain.

 

if happy little bluebird fly

beyond the rainbow

why oh why

can't I

 

life

is just like the 2 sides of a coin

one; for the world to see

the other, hidden in the shadow.

for the that one, your valued.

yet it is both that determines your cents.

 

round freak. be rectangular like a dollar. i mean 2 dollars.

at least both sides are see through.

 

tell the world

tell the world

simplicity is complicated

very complicated indeed.

and it was said.

 

time will heal.

time will compensate.

god will provide.

comfort.

solace.

happiness.

blessings.

open doors.

dreams.

 

and it was said.

 

coincidence is god's way of remain anonymonous.

he has a plan.

and a reason.

his ways are higher than ours.

his thinking is greater than ours.

 

and it was said.

 

miracles can happen if you believe.

 

and i tell you.

 

i have never been that happy in my life.

for he was glorious and worthy to be praised.

 

the past one year has been filled with ups and downs (= and i thank him for sending many people to guide me along different parts of the way when i was in the abyss of darkness.

 

and it was said.

 

Fulfill your destiny

for it will come knocking on your door.

 

and now i know from May 29 that

 

*knock knock

You were definetely there!

 

[this entry is dedicated to all my friends in school, class, council, vball pips, NS bunk and platoon, church ! including my teachers who taught me, who did not teach me and to those who cared for me, especially my family !, thank you for being there when i needed someone to talk to, play with, joke with.] God Bless and all the best ahead.

 

the last sunday ...

before we step down ...

still doing cheering banner. we painted the cordon tape. and the claim your space banner.

tks jnrs and 33rd had fun.

tmr is eval exco. i wonder what i should say (: hmmm

and yes omg i was the happiest this week when volleyball girls beat nanyang. it was one of the most exciting cheering matches i have gone to.

the most memorable one was also volleyball.also semis. but it was last year. we were losing 0-2. then we fought back and won 3-2. i loved the finals too. also 2-2. then we won. that was the only event i was cheer ic for weee. netball finals wow tie with ac after 3rd quarter. 37-37. then we later beat them. this year was table tennis girls finals. so close omg. but in terms of fighting spirit. our girls definetely were much better than rj (: great job.you will wonder hahaah y its all girls hmm

 

and there are 3 test omg this week. chem. maths. econs. so going to die for all.

nvm. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

hopefully.

 

yay i tink i finally finalised the design.

 

for now ..

 

This is our memory ...

 

 

我们的回忆

Music by  WU SONGJUN

Lyrics by  TIAN CHENG

                    LIN CHENGXIAN

 

记 得 那 个夜 晚

 

牵 着 手 的 呼 唤

 

舞 动 的 青 春

 

是 我 们 在 歌 唱

 

满 天 闪 烁 星 光

 

熄 不 灭 的 希 望

 

无 数 的 期 待

 

在 此 刻 凝 了 梦 想

 

渴 望 我 能 回 到 那 一 天

 

时 光 停 留 那 瞬 间

 

多 少 次 迷 失 方 向

 

总 有 你 在 我 的 身 旁

 

陪 伴 我，走 过 最 难 忘 的 一 段

 

无 数 的 欢 喜 悲 伤

 

只 有 你 陪 着 我 分 享

 

过 去 的 美 好 时 光

 

我 只 能 回 头 望

 

 

 

 

闪 烁 满 天 的 星 光 

 

熄 不 灭 的 希 望

 

无 数 的 期 待

 

在 此 刻 都 凝 成 梦 想

 

明 知 会 有 离 别 的 一 天

 

却 从 来 不 曾 后 悔

 

多 少 次 迷 失 方 向

 

总 有 你 在 我 的 身 旁

 

陪 伴 我，走 过 最 难 忘 的 一 段

 

无 数 的 欢 喜 悲 伤

 

只 有 你 陪 着 我 分 享

 

过 去 的 美 好 时 光

 

我 只 能 回 头 望

 

 

一 转 眼 就 到 终 场

 

太 多 的 回 忆 要 收 藏

 

心 里 总 留 个 地 方

 

我 永 远 不 会 忘

 

我 们 的 回 忆

 

---

 

Nothing lasts for ever. All good things will and must come to an end.I will cherish all the memories and I am indeed proud to be part of this council, this family and this legacy.

 

---

 

generally very sad. haha i need a avenue to emo and let everything out. its ok cos nobody reads hehe.

 

tears fell

 

walking back home

in the lift,

outside my house

inside my house

when i am bathing,

 

i wonder y. argh i can't stand it. i can't explain it. the sch felt so cold. not literally but you get wat i mean. i always feel sad in school when i am alone. but i felt so warm when i came home. then i realised how badly i treated my family members. how they truly loved me and i din reciprocate in any befitting way. i was a slut. and i was sad that i was trying too hard to find happiness when happiness was already there in my home. and i din appreciate it. i din appreciate my friends ): [i abused them haha k nvm]. i din appreciate those who loved me for who i was [sounds like chic flic show ahahah but its true ..]

 

I stood outside the door of me house. the gate was open. and then the above struck me. [i'll always remember ... in places no one will find all your feeling so deep inside] dunno from where also. then it all poured out. (: it felt good but i had to hide my face all the way to toilet hahaha.

 

my aunt, my grandma and my mum [buring calo on treadmill] were all asking how was my day. a question i always failed to respond. and i then i realised that if i was in their shoes, for so much they sacrificed for me, i showed no sense of gratitude. its like an investment that went totally skrewd. i must control my rudeness. i know i don't say it often and i noe you don read blogs but i love you guys but i just can't shown it properly. sigh

 

at least i finally finished what i had set out to accomplish. but then again...

 

i can't wait to prom. i tink its really the only thing left i look forward to anymore.

 

i'm sick. i'm tired. that was no sense of accomplishment for wat i did thus far. i tink i spent too much time trying to proof myself, a selfish endeavour. i tried to hard to please others. i tried to hard in all the wrong things. but i must say i made many new great friends. and for that it would suffice as memories i would treasure for life. and it is times like these that i am grateful i have friends. i don't really share cos its kinda weird but [when your weary, feeling down ...] btw that bridge over troubled water. yay clay aiken rocks. its nice to have ppl who are genuinely interested to listen to listen to me. i want to tk u from the bottom of my broken heart. that's mariah carey !

 

i don wanna fight no more. oh i forgotten what i was fighting for ....

 

i can't smile anymore. but its a lie that i must live becos there is no point feeling sorry for yourself. so from this moment ahahah as long as i live ... i will love hmmm noone hahaha but ya yay a song. ok its 4:11 am.

 

lastly, (: to you surprising reader :), your indeed a true friend to me yay ! hahaha [quote heng joo kuang]  * i kiss you. hahaha

 

and just like .sand in the hourglass, these are merely the days of my life. it will come to past and somehow now i believe innately that my pri school moto still stays true (:. the best is yet to be :)

 

but sometimes the best is already here to stay (:

 

-samuel

rest in peace. not for long. not for death. not for ever. but for tranquility.

 

the past week was interesting. [does not reflect well on my vocabulary database]

 

i think  i slept for [1+2+4+4+1] = 12 hrs last week hahahah for sch days. i am not including those 5 mins i doze off during chem and econs lect. although i tink the econs lecturer is damn good.

 

the last week has been the most emotional week. which is a good thing. i felt happy. sad. angry. frustrated. tired. excited. nervous. embarrassed. stupid. bad. and for the first time.

 

i know i dun think anyone read but would like to thank allison [not for coming really late] but for acceding to acting retarded and much more. thank claire, qin and kl for finding costumes and acting really cute hahah the audience loved ya. tks pam and joc for dressing up appropriately and very aptly. you guys were funny and evil hahah jk. tks tc, terence and dinghong for making all your parts funny and entertaining. dh for filming and takin of pants too (:. terence for underwear wearing and interesting indian head shaking. tc for funny and good acting with proper mouthing of words ahaha. it made me good easy. trust me (: lastly, most imptly, LL ! i tink wat impressed me the most was when she knew she most likely could not do much after her wisdom tooth extraction, becos of pain, she stayed up until 4;11 am to do mural design. and the design at first looked hard, but due to excellent chalking by everyone except me ... it was i quote "the best looking one hahaha" and we did not copy lets get it started. they filled in their figures.

 

kudos to the comm for painting such a great banner. sorrie if my criticism were harsh on anyone's drawing or painting. just wanted it to look the best it can. also would like to thank the comm for doing the video and embarrassing yourselves (= hoped you had fun. and hope you remember the experience.

 

i tink its time to start studying.

 

i am happy not because eventually C1 liked it but rather becos my comm was proud of it evntually. just like how they were proud of the mural (: and to me that was the most satisfying thing of last week. and it made those slpness nights worth it (: and i hope we din send across the msg of ecaco being slutty hahaha mrs ang. its k we're cool still. (:

 

as a wise man one said. to be or not to be. its up to you eventually. listen. hear learn and watch. for wat lies ahead is uncertainty.

learn.

today was fun. i ended sch early.

things i cant comprehend

 

slpt at 3 cos trying to find sound clips for video.

ur back to playing game again rite. whole day chat chat chat.

 

video script

i call you council tchr and tell her/him that you should quit council to focuss on your studies -_-

it goes on .... after 5 minutes

you know my friend his son ... after 10 minutes

you dont apprec what we do ... after 15 minutes

he is so rude .... after 20 minutes [btw i kept silent]

i dunno lah its your future .. 30 minutes later

sigh

 

go do work. get 4 As for block test 1. and shut ppl up.

pls stop telling me what to do. i can't stand it. i will do it. eventually.

 

in any case i still love you <3

 

(:

 

its just frustrating

 

yay isure most councillors get it worst (: jia you for blocks, eleco, video, mural. only got 2more month left ),:

 

.saving the best for last (:

for we are so young.

for when tmr comes.

we will do it all again.

 

sit it out or dance

 

just one night

just for one night

there's no way cos you can't pay

 

call me

i'm online babe

 

so

 

listen

 

watch

 

and sing

 

=)

 

sing (=

 

ravi y so pessimistic. i tink i spelt that wrongly. hmm is there anything you actually believe in. actually there is (:

 

love. it warm. only love i experience was motherly love, friendly love. that was good enough for me to grasp the true meaning behind that single noun, verb for some (:.

 

it pains me sometimes to find love does not always find back its rightful owner. y is there one-sided love. its so sad. y. some say. life is unfair. cant there be exceptions ): even for once. one person. why can't people understand, maybe i do, that for love anyone would do anything to make a person happy. elated and jubilated.

 

y is it so diff for ppl to get it. please please please think of those you cherish and who cherish you. think for one moment what they would be like with or without you. "without you, where would i belong, without you, how can i breath" open you eyes. see. what you ahve been ignoring. for the wind blows genuinity. the sun radiates warmth and love. the clouds blow away regret. the birds sing a lithy tune. so y dwell in ur forlorn state. listen, for a new day has come.

 

for i am the bringer of good news. come seek the light. for love is still present. past grievances should be forgotten. come seek the light. come seek .. for i am waiting. here and foreva.

 

alone and hungry. sad and repentant. i speak only the truth. for i am changed. believe me once more. (= for i have sinned. forgive me.

 

as in not literally me but me as me and not you but me in me.

 

i stay for the night, waiting to hear you voice, longing to see your face, wanting to see you actions, dreaming of your song. come back to me, and forgive everything. come what may.

 

this is what i have to say.

 

4 love is a many splendid things and all you need is love.

even if you can only be heroes for 1 day.

Hello (:

 

shuttdown. or to give up. or to simply take the easiest way out. whenever our com hangs. the first thing is to alt+ctrl+del then next is to desperately end tasks.

 

it is such as apt analogy of life. how when we are trapped, stuck in a cervice, unable to see the light of day, struggling in the abyss of uncertainty and ceaseless torture, all we do is to alt       ctrl       del. simply forgeting about our worries, putting the aside, finding the easiest way to do so and seeing them seemingly disappear beyond the horizon. what a thought. serenity. at last.

 

people have different wishes, to end problems, end life [the source of all problems] or to end other's life. assuming god gave you the power for either 1 of the 3. which would you choose. it would be interesting to find out, all humans would have in possession each their own deathnote, what a thought. satisfying. yet nerve-wrecking.

 

nevertheless, death to many isn't painful. dying once is the only logical and scientific way of things. but what if you were given a chance at a second life. would you take it? some say life should be reversed. die first and slowly enjoy the fruits of your old age, obtain you peak in career, enjoy your sex life, suckle on milk, and finally disappear in to you mothers womb. oh what a thought. jubilation. and release.

 

release from? definete slave. torture. stress. work. dedication. passion. labour. responsiblity. friendship. love.

 

humans are born lazy. most remain. and unfair it may sound. most become successful on the backs of others. well. that is life. that is how the cookie crumble. "you added too little butter and water" some may say, "the cookie dough does not stick". it is not what little you add in that matters, but what you did not at all. pain.agony.anguish. the one who enjoy the wine, never is the one who tends to the grape vine. heard it on the grapevine. life is unfair.

 

now ponder. are you those who truly deserve what you are now. have you bothered to help others. have you bothered to look beyond what is. have you been thankfully. have you or have not been who you could have should have been. were you the one that people looked up to or those that evreyone wants a piece of.period.unfortunately.period.for them. which are you? perfect i am not, i noe where i falter. do you ?

 

:)

 

change is impossible. trying to is.

 

 

Hi,

 

Some people say, time changes everyone. So one and a half years of stagnacy or domancy, rather, I am back. (: changed.

 

ya rite. First check on life, people never change (: oh wait they do ! sorry ignore me, in case people from the yellow ribbon project come and kill me. so remember that people actually do change ! [but realise that in actual fact they dont] remember that fact = stands for what is true.

 

Correct me if i am wrong, but yes ok fine some ppl do change, most of the time for the worst but sometimes and really really rarely they do so for the better. [This is the part where i am unable to quote examples, and oh dun blame me for failing gp essay cos i can't quote examples]. K back to people dun change. People are complex organisms. i won't say i understand how they function or think but its quite easy to vaguely do so. Do you think a person who hates you from K1 would like you 12 years later. i am not writing becos this example ok ... i am just exaggerating.

 

Some say, oh how some say [fools], time heals all wounds [ignorant]. yes i agree if you don't talk, absense does make you merrier. but reappearance just for one day, just seeing and talking to that person once, may send uncalmable ripples true the surface or even the depth of calm waters. human emotions run deep, just like human character. you are what you are. so what is what you are ? what makes you special ? what make you tick tock and explode.

 

that is like a blueprint of how your life is, was and will be runned. it determines who you truly are. deviate from that, hyprocrite you are. burn. follow that map and risk being condemned. so most choose the former. foolish yet some brave few choose the latter. so nicest is a facade, it is intangigle, it is there when you least expect it and absent when you truely need it. so. one never fails to ponder the authencity the genuinity of such nicety.

 

in the eyes of god, we are all but merely black sheeps. but then who are we to define evil if not so good. if all is based on relativity, then nothing is either as most things are subjective. Confusing or foolish it may sound , people don't change one bit, if they do, some say for the better, some would say for the worst, but not knowing for certain better or worst, most people actually merely change with nothingness, people remain who they are but are pictured in a different light. They show a different side of them, exhibit certain qualities and hide some. Just like how the devil transformed into a snake in the garden of eden, some people are snakes in sheep's clothing, baaing around yet canabalising their own kind.

 

People never change. They are a stage. a scene. a movie. a picture. things can be hidden but never removed. things can suppressed but never deleted. things can go invisible but never untouchable. people remain. so who are you ? truly.

 

mirror. cry. hunger for the truth. for only you can tell what you are inside. no one truly knows you. dont pride yourself for being nice,evil,mean or cruel, for it is all a flaw in your character, merely seen and categorised by people into 2 categories good and bad. who says nice is good and not bad, who has this right ? are emotions and conscience truly good. how certain you ?

 

how certain is the you in you ?

 

btw i am too lazy to spell check. so ya my spelling really sucks btw.

 

i may F5 more on life soon. now i am sian. oh another F5 is life is in fact boring. hahaha haha ha he that y we blog sigh . meaningless.

 

Dear whomever,

 

Too lazy to write. Just imagine fun, any form of it, we experienced all.

 

uhuh main aim is to post nice images. definition of nice is subjective.

 

After looking at Perth, i realised how slack and pampered we were. Its official ours was a tour camp, it was so enjoyable that i even went fairer and fatter. We had our fair share of adrenaline pumps and rather factful tours, but comfort was always there.

 

Tks to Mrs Sim and Miss Wong. You noe mrs sim wanted to let us her credit card, so cool. I bet ppl used it to buy porn mags.

 

Ppl should post more images to share like jun wei. i wanna see.

 

Die Whomever.

Last friday was O lvl English. It was kinda scary at first. I had a bad stomachache, was going on like a tugboat but i managed to comfort myself prior to meeting the 2 scary things in the room.

 

It was kinda funny when loke came in and she started explaining the proceedings of the oral exams and she went into her "gentlemen", "ah .." and "you know" mode. "Gentlemen ah, i tell you we will be placing some goodies on the side of the table for the testers ah, don't happily munch and do your oral". so lame mdm loke but i guess she likes it.

 

Nonetheless, Miss Pek was our time keeper. Its so cool cos she has been invigilating me for Australian Math, Chinese, English Common Test and now this. Based on what she did for both the common test, disappear throughout the duration of the test and only come back to collect back the test paper, i knew that the oral couldn't be any different. For goodness sake, she was happily munching away on her cookies while i was reading my passage lol. After a while, she left to walk about and i was left in solitutde. She came back and start munching again. The next time she checked the watch, i saw it read 13 minutes :> so 'munch' for 10 minutes.

 

Then when i went in it was scary becos my back was facing the door. How if people backstab me .... nvm but the testes ...  i mean testers where rather soft ... i mean kind and amiable and they were all ears to what load of crap i had to say.

 

The weird thing of the  picture was that it could have easily represented some sort of sex act. I mean we have a row of boys on their knees and hands. And girls kneeing on top of their backs. Not only was there nothing much to say but perverse was clouding my mind for me to think clearly.

 

Then came the question for discussion. I was absolutely stunned. "Name 1 person you would replace?". I was thinkin of maybe the chinese teacher but then again you can't replace them becos all of them just rot and decay more. Its serious uneconomical to have any form of chinese scholarship. Then i decided to fake. I said i was some acccomplished scout [only in hierachy] that failed the CCA hike becos of some idiotic juniors who were too dumb to understand that you cannot spray aerosol stuff into a fire. As i proceeded along i realised how fake it was so i decided to make it more fake by saying that i should have gotten another sec 4 instead. hmm get wat i am saying nvm ....

 

But then it was generally all rite.  I was very comforted that when i said [your suppose to say how sweet or how true] that my mum has always taught me that home is always the warmest and nicest place to be in, the testers responded with thats very true and she smiled. Then she said thank you and said i've done well today. YEH. wait for all you know well is an A2 damn.

 

But anywae proj judging was horrible the computer was screwing with us [imagine tat :>]. We can't seem to download our ppt. We were stressed but fortunately not out of options. Luckily, apart from all the porn and spyware and adware on ryan's computer, there is also a very outdated but very useful version of our pre-semis ppt. Which we editted on the spot.

 

Next our video screwed up. Instead of music, we heard moaning. in the end we fixed it too, although both were quite suitable.

 

Next our judges were a pair of sims and one teo. They were nice. To think that our presentation was real crappy we kept screwing up, but what saved us was the portal, the video and file [ which miss sim remembers as the "thick" one]. She says it can be used to our disadvatage as the judges may not be able to noe what to find. They also commented that we had too much to present and i was confusing as we had 47 slides, 1 video, 1 website to show, 1 file to show and 1 online portal to show all in 8 minutes. can you dig tat ? so they asked us to mention only the impt ones.

 

To think that we actually are the top 3 in SL cat when we presented so lousily. I heard and symphatise that wei qin and hong yi's grp were very unfortunate to have their ppt screwed. I feel sorry for them becos i think they deserve a better grade, like alvin's grp and zhi kang's grp.

 

Lastly, to those who din managed to do as well as you exp for finals, just remember what JI says. Everybody pass around. SHE SAYS THAT THE JUDGES ARE STUPID< BLIND AND HAVE NO BRAIN WHEN JUDGING. SHE SAYS IT IS UNFAIR AND SHE SHOULD HAVE THE FINAL DECISION. nah juz kiddin .... or am i ?

 

Angel:  Don't be too hard on yourself,

Devil: get yourself hard.

 

Angel:  I means wat's impt is that you have fun rite ?

Devil: YEH RITE.

 

Lastly[i wonder how many there actually are], finally after 4 yrs in chinese high, i have gotten an A* in a subject. Hey my physics got a 97 woohoo. To think that i din even understand what was half life like 3 days before the test. Mr tieu is indeed an example of teachers the school should hire to promote IP - independent learning. You have to when ppl can't help you. Teach less, Learn more.

 

Until next time, byebye.

Since, peng sing din really like it and i neither (WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ABC except maybe as aaron said R).

 

So i shall write (still not very funny) but a thanksgiving note to people who have been kind to me and have helped me. Its kinda hard to be funny when your filled with anger.

 

I am writing this is because i wanna copy alvin and ryan's blog. So original.

 

1) My mom for everything she provides. For her loving kindness.

 

2) God. For looking over me everyday. Helping learn to forgive people. (I'm still learning)

 

3) Aunt. For being naggy preventing me from playing (not really working). Being nice and caring like my 2nd mom.

 

4) Grandmother. Almost the same as my aunt just more puny and naggy.

 

5) Sister. Tutoring me, like my 4th mum.

 

 

 

1) Jia Hao. For being very nice to me. Funny to be around with. Introducing me to games.

 

2) Kennard. For helping me in work chinese the list goes on. For teaching me how to properly play dota. Befriended me since sec 1. motivates me to do better, speak in chinese. healthy competitor.

 

3) Aaron. For his smirk of arrogance. No lah. He is actually very kind just that he is EGO aren't you. nice to talk to. He aims to Be FIRST in class.

 

4) Ronald. Funny, nice. He is not petty and lets me sit in his sit blah blah blah. He bothers to explain to me stuff when i don't quite understand it.

 

5) Kai Xiong. He sent me gmail invitation when i din really ask it from him. Very kind and he takes initative to foster genuine friendship.

 

6) Lionel. Very nice to niao. Hope you don't take them seriously.

 

7) Class 4H. Thank you all, except those who never pay class fund one ... :> horrible. All the lamers make it fun.

 

8) Alvin Mak. For being genuine, kind ( how many times have i used this?) and giving.

 

9) Peng Sing. For his frankness [referring to deleted blog entry]. For his advice on games. For his funny character. He is really an interesting person. I always considered you as a friend.

 

10) Chee Yang. For bothering to chase group member (last year) to work. He is really admirable for his singing and also he forcefulness (tyranny a.k.a) in his project. He was the reason why i got my A* last year. And you are also nice.

 

11) Liang Wei. For being one of my best friends since primary 5. Although since them, we always fight but all the small stuff you do is really appreciated.

 

12) Ryan Tan. Your nice as a person. When your alone, you are nice to be with. Caring and thoughtful.

 

13) Juniors. They are nice. I remember when i had a tift with liang wei last here, mel one actually bothered to listen to me for like almost 2 hours. That was really sweet. They light up my life.

 

14) For my teachers. who bother to teach us. Tks scout teachers for giving me a chance. Tks sow for setting tests :> Tks goh for educating us, making me love bio.

 

15) Other people who i came across who have been nice to me. Hainan group. Vanessa. Jian Wei. Jian Ming. OBS Sabah group. Joshua Ting. Jun Wei. Shawn Lim. Zhi Wei (your my best pal in band). Xuan Ping (the hallmark of nicety). Ka Yiu let me bully him and buy me food.

 

For the rest, i'm really sorry if I forgot you.

Dear Diary,

 

... fo.fpad.... damn no ink

 

I recently did some character thing that told me how to improve myself. I never believe such crap, which people fabricate to earn big bucks, but maybe i should.

 

How i should change.

 

1) Shut up

I'll try. Virtually impossible. but I'll try.

 

2) Go blind

Give me a pencil and  Pregnant Teacher's naked photo. Painful but well worth it.

 

3) Be more compassionate and understanding

Put myself in people's shoes (albeit stinky) and suck in all the reek air. Understand their situation and accomodate them (someone has to). But actually if you know me when i am not that angry and bitchy [and don't say that i am bitchy 24 7], i can be quite nice (normally to strangers).

 

*4) Become slack. Watch despo wifes, lost, movies, cartoons woo hoo exiciting yr ahead. Go go eye sight deterioration and grades improvement.  (only if all means fail)

 

5) Follow Miss Sim's advice. Which is like totally a theory now .. "The best of friends are not exactly the best people to work with". I wanted to motivate, guess i have a totally different definition of motivation (probably picked it up from Mrs Sow)

 

6) Stop dwelling in the past and look to the future.

Learn to forgive people even though they don't repent (:> I am compelled to show repetence, sorry can't help it) But speaking strictly i am analysing the past trying to compel people to change. Since people don't give a shit about them, i should learn to keep my own shit in my own ass.

 

7) Learn to phrase words correctly.

Each class is specially. If you ask me i think both classes (all classes are) are like the earth, all comprising and developing devils going to hell :> (if your a staunch Christian i just pulling your leg. I'm sorry if your limbless.:'( ).

 

8) Do not force and inject people with my doctrines.

TYRANNY. Yar i love. Ok must stop but i mean if i inject you guys with viagra u wouldn't mind rite?

 

 I agree must stop. But i hope you agree that as long as you get the work we assigned each other done by the stipulated timline (unless got some weird stuff crop up - like ED checkup or sucidal hamster or countless relatives dying) its ok no matter how much pornographic videos you watch.

 

9) Create voodoo dolls.

I shan't elaborate. (btw the text is suppose to be invisible, if you saw it "you din see anything")

 

10. God Bless you all. [neutralise effect of 9]

When I feel angry with someone, something, i would pray and bless the person. (hope it doesn't turn out to be a curse :>) wait can't joke about these type of things.

 

11. Stop Whining

"why like that one" or "why you guys always ..." or "why all so slack one" or "wth were you doing last night" et cetera must stop.

 

OK THIS PART I AGREE BUT MUST OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE, (APPEASEMEN POLICY LED TO WORLD WAR 2 ALSO [don't tell me indirectly]). so what method should i use. I want to elaborate somemore, BUT again i must not dwell in the past. *constructive comments pls

 

12. Become detached from the society. an outcast. live in the dumpsters and sell rubbish for food. Adopt kittens as my daughters and dogs as my sons. My wife would probably be a lampost (one night stands).

 

Again. no hard feelings if any (i don't think i made anyone unhappy). btw i tot slack ppl work with non-slack people suppose to be a gd combi. becos if blind lead the blind, everybody would probably be in some dark moist and acidic enclosure.

 

again, "weird, mortals are" (so alvin probably knows who's alien now), they are many other workstyles and LIEstyles i must get used to. after so many years, i agree i am hard to work with, becos i nv really enjoyed working with anyone (it goes both ways), except jia hao (crystal growing - probably becos it in itself if slack and fun) and chee yang, tengen and jia hao - which i tried my best to slack in. 1 example is submissive the other is a tyrant. So i suppose i can't work with emotional people or people like myself (hypocrites).

 

Just 1 plea, if you say don't brood over the past, please forgive jia hao he did nothing wrong.

 

So anyone up for a challenge next year? Include widely acclaimed tormenter in your group, while stocks last.

 

"My milkshakes got all the boys in the block ..."

 

Quote of the day

"It is not the great things in life that matters, it is the big things"

 

Bye Diary.

 

"its not my fault i behave such, and it isnot ur fault u behave such, but it is both our fault if we continue to behave as such"

 

Aaron just to clarify i was in chee yang's grp last yr. They probably did well without me for some obvious reasons. If i was in their grp last yr, they wouldn't want me and i wouldn't want them again this yr.