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July 26 Bewildered confusionyou know the feeling of not wanting something but actually really wanting something.
you want to be left alone but don't want to be left alone !?
i want a break but i don't want a break. all for different reasons !
and
Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.
The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense.
so now i
Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.
and i wish this
What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.
but those are only dreams of fantasies.
i am just curious.
do you ever feel like if you don't so something, no one else will. or no one else will do it properly. and just for the sake of everyone. even if you don't want to, you have to do it. even if you don't feel like. and if you do it wrongly. do you deserved to get blamed?! and if you don't do anything. do you deserved to get blamed ?! sometimes life just needs to be nicer. just once. a little more pleasant and easy.
looking forward to rag ! and stunting ! more of stunting hahaha and seaweeding. so cheers to that.
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